Once and Never Again
by twitchylittleferret
Summary: Emma Nelson has the best luck until she forgets the essentials. Chapter two: Starbucks, British slang, anger, Jay's latte mustache, Emma's tanned stomach, a flushed Jay and a feisty Emma. DISCONTINUED.
1. Impulsive

**Title:** Once and Never Again

**Author: **twitchylittleferret  
**Summary:** Emma Nelson has the best luck until she forgets the essentials.   
**Disclaimer: **I do not own Degrassi in any way, shape or form. No money is being made off this. It is also not intended for copyright infringement.

**Rating:** M; rated for later chapters  
**Warning:** Excess cursing in later chapters, alcohol references, and maybe some smut that I will have to tone down for this stupid fucking site. Also fluff and humor galore. I think Jay's quite a bit out of character but six years of maturing and some new redemption can mellow a person out so let's pretend Jay redeemed himself and mellowed out.   
**Author's Note/ Beta Credit:** Takes place six years after season six. Emma's twenty-four and Jay is twenty-six. There shall be three to six chapters and then a multi-chaptered sequel.

No beta yet but if you want the job, drop me a message and we'll see what we can do.

Chapter One- Impulsive

Emma Nelson was about to do the unthinkable. Instead of writing the thesis paper that would make or break her ambitions of graduating from the University of Toronto with a degree in psychology, she was stepping into a random bar on a random street where no one she knew would dare go. It had taken her a while to make this decision and during the bus ride from Northern Toronto to Southern Toronto, her mind drifted to one of the things she had heard in her undergraduate psych class.

Going to bars alone without the intention of meeting someone was the first step to alcoholism. She shook her blonde head to rid herself of these thoughts. She was just going to drink some beers and maybe flirt with a few guys but that was it. There wasn't going to be any heavy indulging in hard liquor just a beer or two. She concluded this theory with the reason she was doing this. For a change in pace. That's all she wanted. She was sick of the constant studying and the pains of typing paper after paper, developing more tech neck as the days went by. That battle in her mind was over twenty minutes ago and now; she stood at the front door of the small bar called Ruby's, looking psychotic as she contemplated her choice of plans for the night.

It's now or never, she thought simply, as she adjusted her black purse and brushed off any lint off her black capris and smoothed her grey shirt over. She took a deep breath and opened the door to the bar.

When she walked in, she immediately breathed in the pungent smell that only bars can hold. She smelt peanuts, beer, vodka, sweat and cheap cologne all at the same time. She winced at the overload of different scents before squaring her shoulders and walking towards the bar with her chin held high. She settled herself onto a barstool and took in her surroundings. The bar was plain with a clean yet dirty air to it. The barstools looked weathered and the chairs and tables scattered across the bar looked battered as well. The bar itself looked clean which made her feel relieved but still cautious as the bowl of nuts looked like a playground for various germs itching to infect her clean and healthy body. A jukebox that looked older than she was made her smile as it played "Danny Boy" by The Pogues. Her observations were interrupted just as she was contemplating on whether or not to lean her elbows on the counter by a gruff voice that seemed close to her. Her eyes snapped directly in front of her as she finally noticed the bartender who looked quizzically at her as he held a vodka tonic in his calloused hand.

"This was sent over by the fella in the black jacket." The bartender grunted as he jerked his thumb in the direction of the man who sent her the drink.

Her eyes followed the bartender's thumb to come into contact with a pair of mischievous looking pair of blue eyes. Her jaw dropped before she could stop it as she took in his appearance with utter dismay. The blue eyes, the messy brown hair, the smirk that seemed to leer at her. It was Jay Hogart.

Before she could bolt for the door and grab a taxi to sit at home at her computer with a cache of Snickers at her side, he plopped himself down on the barstool next to her. He kept on smirking and Emma could feel her stomach churning. For one of the few times in her life, big mouth, activist Emma Nelson was speechless. But not only was she speechless but she was speechless in front of Jay Hogart. The boy who convinced her to go down on him and "take a walk on the wild side" to only result in getting gonorrhea and later, having a fight with her now ex-boyfriend Sean. Real great conversation starters.

Finally he took it upon himself to stop the painful silence and to ease the awkward tension that surrounded them like a bunch of vultures.

"So, how have you been? I heard you got into the psych program at the University of Toronto. Very impressive." He said, grinning boyishly and raking a hand through his already messy hair.

She felt…weird. Here he was acting nice and even friendly. Did he forget the whole epic adventure that went on resulting in the worst year of her life? Because she sure as hell didn't. But hell, if he wanted to play nice, she could do the same.

"Yeah, I've been fine. The psych program's really fun and quite interesting but a little stressful. What have you been doing? Did you go to college?" She asked polite and nice at the same time. Act cute and nice and find out why the fuck he was here and talking to her was her master plan.

He shook his hair out of his eyes and leaned back in his chair. "Yeah, I finally got my act together and hauled my ass to a library to study for my GED. Finally got it and applied to various colleges until I was accepted by the University of Sheffield in England. Graduated last year and here I am." He finished with a smirk at the end.

She was stunned at the fact Jay "Badass" Hogart _finally_ decided to stop being a scumbag and actually do something productive with the brains God gave him.

"What did you major in?" She asked tentatively, leaning on her elbows and taking a sip of the vodka tonic he sent over. She deemed it decent and waited for him to answer.

"Promise not to laugh?" He asked slowly, looking into her eyes with his blue eyes clouded all of a sudden.

She raised an eyebrow and replied, "Of' course."

He took a long swig of his Labatt Blue before answering and she chuckled quietly at his sudden need for liquid courage. The old Jay Hogart never need liquid courage.

"English Literature." He answered sheepishly.

Again, she felt her jaw drop and quickly recovered feeling it was incredibly rude. Wow, Jay Hogart studying English Lit? She quickly wondered if she fell into some alternate universe when she opened the door to Ruby's and stopped her theory when she realized he was waiting for a response to his answer.

"Well, I'd be lying if I said I'm not surprised you chose to study English Lit. May I ask why if you don't mind me asking?" She inquired, sipping again at her vodka tonic.

Immediately, his tense features reverted to back to being pleasant and now somewhat relieved. "I like writing and wanted to study some of the greats," Jay shrugged. "I know it's not what people expect of me but I decided a while ago that people obsessed with stereotypes can go fuck themselves." He finished, grinning yet another boyish grin.

Emma was beyond perplexed by now and felt like she was in a daze. Here she was sitting in a bar with Jay Hogart, discussing college like it was nothing. And Christ, he was SMILING boyishly at her constantly. She considered reviving her theory of the alternate universe around her before deciding to fuck her notions of Jay before. If she could forgive Sean over and over again, then she could forgive Jay Hogart and act polite without an ulterior motive.

She smiled prettily at him and started a new topic. "So Mr. English Major, do you have a job or are you part of the starving artist bunch of writers?" she teased.

He stuck out his tongue and she shivered slightly at the appearance of his pink tongue directed in her direction. That tongue could be put use in many ways besides talking, she thought naughtily.

"No, I am a starving artist. I have a job back in England, reviewing books for an underground magazine. It's quite a good job and I work from home which is an incredible convenience. So do you have a job lined up after graduation?" He asked, blue eyes shining.

"Sadly no. I have no idea what I'm doing after graduation. I'm just praying I'm not going to end up a bag lady." She laughed.

He chuckled softly and she reveled at how nice and rich his laugh sounded. He was so adorable here in all his cuteness and all discontent for him was slowly starting to fade away as their conversation continued.

He leaned back in his chair again before asking her the question that had been on her mind for the past five minutes.

"Er, this may sound weird, awkward even, but do you have a boyfriend?" He questioned, his blue eyes diverting her brown ones.

She smiled and leaned closer to answer his question. "No, I don't have a boyfriend. What about you, Hogart? Do you have a girlfriend?" She asked politely.

He smirked before answering. "Nope." He stated plainly.

"That's interesting." She smiled.

She wanted to rub her eyes or smack herself in the face but decided against it for the sheer principle of not looking insane. Here she had Jay Hogart, all grown up and now she was admitting, quite attractive and openly flirting with her. Her luck was incredible.

"So, Emma, are you doing anything tomorrow at 10 am?" He asked, playing with his beer label.

She smiled and thanked God that her classes started at 12 pm.

"No. Why?" She asked, smiling a pretty smile at him yet again.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go and grab a coffee and see an art showing with me." He said, looking into her eyes.

She considered swooning over his uber intelligent date but decided not to.

"Sure." She said, grinning.

"Great. Do you know of the Starbucks by Johnson Ave?" He asked confidently.

"Yeah."

"Meet me there at around 9:45?" He said getting up from his barstool and paying the bartender.

"Sounds great." She beamed, getting up as well.

"Wanna lift? I rented a car for while I'm here." He asked, shaking his messy brown hair again and offering her his arm.

"Sure. By the way, how long are you going to be here in Canada?" She asked, taking his offered arm.

"A month." He answered, going over to his car and opening the door for her.

As she stepped in the door, Emma felt like maybe somehow fate actually did something right instead of fucking stuff up like it usually does. She grinned as she finally realized that maybe trips to bars **were** necessary once in a while.

**Author Note:** Hope you liked the first chapter of this little story I'm writing. Constructive criticism is encouraged.


	2. Anger

**Title:** Once and Never Again

**Author: **twitchylittleferret  
**Summary:** Emma Nelson has the best luck until she forgets the essentials.   
**Disclaimer: **I do not own Degrassi in any way, shape or form. No money is being made off this. It is also not intended for copyright infringement.

**Rating:** M; rated for later chapters  
**Warning:** Excess cursing in later chapters, alcohol references, and maybe some smut that I will have to tone down for this stupid fucking site. Also fluff and humor galore. I think Jay's quite a bit out of character but six years of maturing and some new redemption can mellow a person out so let's pretend Jay redeemed himself and mellowed out.   
**Author's Note/ Beta Credit:** Takes place six years after season six. Emma's twenty-four and Jay is twenty-six. There shall now be three to six chapters of this fic. The reasoning behind this is that I personally don't feel two chapters are enough for Jay and Emma's relationship to mature the way I want it to. Beta credit to the lovely Tammywammy. Oh and before I forget, the title is borrowed from a song by a British glam punk band The Long Blondes. I don't own it so don't sue me or be a prick about it. By the way, I don't own Starbucks.

Chapter Two- Anger

They arrived promptly in front of her modest flat after a ride mainly silent due to their equally giddy nerves. Although she felt happy and attracted to Jay, Emma couldn't shake the feeling that things may just all go to shit. Maybe it the fact that every time she felt content or comfortable in her life, some event knocked her out of the familiarity she had just gotten used to. But she was going to risk it with Jay. Who knows? It may turn out to be fun or even life-changing. Either way, she was going to take advantage of this situation fate handed her and throw all caution the wind. Well, some caution.

After validating their plans one last time, Emma bid Jay adieu and kissed him chastely on his slightly scruffy cheek before making her way up the stairs of her flat. Upon closing her front door, she fell to the floor in a fit giggles and highly obvious euphoria that seemed to ooze off her in waves. Sure, it was immature but she couldn't help thinking of the saying that her mother had announced to her during her stressful college application hysteria about which university to choose. "Carpe diem" or "seize the day" seemed like the perfect phrase to describe her interaction with Jay.

Yawning heavily, Emma peeled off her plain sneakers and padded across the hallway to her bathroom in her socks. She removed her make-up carefully, brushed her teeth with enthusiasm and pulled her blonde tresses into a ponytail. After partaking in grooming for the night, she shimmied out of her black capris and pulled the plain grey t-shirt over her head.

Getting under her flannel sheets and comforter, she snuggled into bed, relishing the warmth of her bed and the comfort that only seemed to occur before sleep.

Sun streamed in through the lone window in her room and bounced onto her face as she slowly dragged herself out of the dreamless slumber she was just enjoying. Opening her eyes slowly and yawning dramatically, she stretched her arms out into the air to try and awake some tried muscles. Glancing at the digital that laid on top of the nightstand by her bed, she saw the time was eight forty-five in the morning. She still had an hour to get ready and make her way to Johnson Ave to meet Jay for coffee.

Trudging to the bathroom, she brushed her teeth vigorously as dental hygiene was incredibly important to her before turning on the shower and submerging herself under the steamy water. Wrapping a white towel around her slender form, she walked from her bathroom to her bedroom to check how much time she had left to get ready. The digital clock strewn on top of her nightstand carelessly now read nine o'clock. She sighed huffily; annoyed at the lack of time she had to get ready. Quickly, she estimated in her head that she could take twenty precious minutes to get dressed, grab her bag and make sure her hair and person looked decent. Good enough, she thought, whipping the towel off her body and tossing it carelessly to the side.

Going to her dresser, she pulled out underwear and pulled them on with incredible speed. But she did take the time to locate a bra that matched just in case, her clothes ended strewn around wherever Jay was staying for the time he was in Canada. After dressing in her underwear, she threw open the door to her closet and yanked out a plain cotton black shirt and a pair of comfy jeans that hung loosely around her hips to complete the look. Pulling black flats onto her feet, she hopped over to where her bag was located on her bed and tossed it into the hallway.

Rushing to her small bathroom, she scooped up her blonde hair into a ponytail, smeared eyeliner onto her eyes and swiped a tube of lip gloss across her naturally pouty lips. Deeming herself decent, she ran into the hallway, snatched up her purse and bolted out the front door all while remembering to lock her front door.

Once she was downstairs, she glanced at the clock that resided in the lobby to find the time was now nine-twenty. Beaming at her good luck, she set out to make it to the Starbucks on Johnson Ave before nine forty-five.

After walking a good five blocks, in which she thanked the holy heavens she wore flats, she finally arrived at the Starbucks. Pushing the heavy door open with all the weight in her tiny frame, she looked around in the semi-crowded coffee shop for an inkling of Jay. After scanning the crowd, she finally recognized Jay's messy hair that rivaled the shaggy hair of a Toronto skateboarder. And he looked beautiful.

Beautiful is a strong and uncommon word used to describe men but it was the only word that college educated, Emma Nelson could come up with at the moment. Ducking behind a fake plant, she used her hiding place to soak in his ravishing beauty. He was already sipping at a latte, getting foam on his upper lip, creating a milk mustache that made her giggle like a little schoolgirl. Dirty thoughts flew in and out of her head about what she could do to get that foam off his body and she tensed as she felt a tension settle in her groin. She cursed herself colorfully. All the guy was doing was innocently sipping a foam latte and here she was thinking perverted thoughts about him. What would her mother say? But then again, if her memory serves, he was rather _big_.

Shaking those distracting, yet entertaining, thoughts from her head, she settled back into the task at hand. Watching Jay. She took in his outfit happily, noting that his black sweater with the sleeves rolled up and dusky jeans that almost hid his tattered converses from view were of a sleeker style than his old "gangsta" clothes. After all, she had a secret preference for polished looking guys. The stubble residing on his cheek was an amazing contrast to his pale skin and she couldn't help but marvel at how soft his skin was. Would it feel as good as it looked? She shuddered involuntarily at the mere thought of it and turned her attention to his eyes. The usual cloudy blue was replaced by a rather bright light blue that practically shone with excitement, like a young child in a candy store. The excitement in his eyes melted the anxiety within her and with a new air of confidence; she decided to make an entrance.

Marching towards him with her chin held high, she plopped down into the chair in one solid motion and gazed into his face. She should have known that tactic wasn't going to work because the second she sat down, he locked eyes with her, the excitement in his eyes positively glowing.

"Nice to see you, Emma." Jay taunted, smirking while sipping his latte confidently.

Her jaw went slack as she realized he saw her acting like she was a fifteen teenybopper. Just when she thought she was already embarrassed out of her mind, she felt his eyes boring into her, as if he was expecting an answer. Oh damn, she thought. He _was_ expecting an answer. Ignoring the blood that pooled into her cheeks, she opened her mouth to quickly retort.

"I-," Emma began before being cut off.

"It's cool, Em. God knows, I'm perfect. Hell, I'm a bloody Mecca." He teased, smirking at her obvious displeasure.

Her stomach started churning violently as he leered at her like a wolf might leer at an injured bunny hopping along naively. Regaining her ability to speak in what she hoped was eloquent terms; she decided to snap at him.

"Shut up! For Christ's sake, you already know I was spying on you like a lovesick teenager, why do you have to rub it in my fucking face? And what's with the slang from England? You were a little insecure wigga from Toronto and all of a sudden, you are a refined English man?! You can't change so fucking much! I mean, you're Jay. You aren't supposed to complex and deep. You are supposed to be denser than a SPONGE!" she screamed, attracting unwanted attention in the process.

She caught her breath slowly, while watching his face carefully for any sign of well deserved rage with her face flushed and looking as though she was badly sun burnt. He stayed silent the whole time with a ghost of a smirk playing upon his lips. She silently fumed and wanted to see if he would push back if pushed properly. He didn't. He was the essence of a mature, sophisticated man. And she fucking hated it.

In her fury, Emma didn't notice her shirt had rose up, displaying six inches of tanned stomach that Jay's eyes had suddenly drifted to. She found her cool as she yanked down her t-shirt, both startling and embarrassing Jay at the same time as a red flush spread on his scruffy cheeks.

"Well?", she said tossing her pale ponytail. "Are you going to say something or ogle at my stomach like a horny teenager?"

And to her great surprise, his pouty lips descended on hers in a light, soft kiss that left her wanting more and ignited a fire in her belly that begged for contact, _any _contact with those lips again.

"You're beautiful when you are mad." he said, leaving her lips slowly and pressing his forehead to hers lightly.

Anger drifted away from her as she felt her body ache for him and her heart beat furiously against her chest. As if he weren't looking and acting perfect already, he gazed into her eyes lovingly before speaking words she only dreamed a man would speak to her.

"Your eyes turn some kind of amber color and your face flushes deliciously. Your lips get pouty and tempt every person around you to silence you by kissing you. I love it when you're angry. You're fucking gorgeous." He said, leaning his chair on all fours while gazing at her still flushed face as if she was the best thing alive.

A smile graced her lips and she ran her fingers through her ponytail, trying to think of a sassy comeback only to find herself unable to.

"Do you really feel that way?" she questioned timidly while gazing at him through her bangs that fell into her eyes.

He smiled.

"Yeah."

Authors Note: So yup, this is the chapter I took so long to write. Sorry everyone for taking too much time to sit on my ass and do nothing. I am working on a new Degrassi story if that makes anyone happy.


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